The 8 Most Satisfying Sex Positions for Beginners, According to Experts
Not sure where to start? We got you.
HAVING SEX FORthe first time is scary—there's no denying that. Their place or yours? What size condom do you buy? To shave or not shave? Then come concerns about the actual mechanics of sex: namely, what sex position should you try?
There’s no reason to break out the acrobatics the first time you have sex—you can save the standing 69 and more ambitious fare for another time. Beginners probably want to stick with sex positions that are easy to pull off, so you can focus on what matters most: communicating with your partner about what feels good.
Here's everything you need to know before you have sex for the first time, and a few simple but effective positions to kick it off.
What You Should Know Before Having Sex for the First Time
Before we get to the best sex positions for beginners, there are a few key things that every beginner should know about sex.
First: good sex starts well before you actually have sex. You can experiment to find out what you like before ever starting sex by masturbating—it's the best way to learn the nuances of your body before you do anything with a partner. Don't be afraid to do it, says Gigi Engle, certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and sex expert at the LGBTQIA+ dating app, Taimi. "It's important you know your body so you're able to communicate [your likes and dislikes to your partner]."
When you do have sex for the first time—slow it down. There's no need to rush into anything you're not ready for, or aren't sure about. Take the time to get in tune with your and your partner's bodies to discover what feels good and what doesn't. Sex is about pleasure the entire time—not just at the climax.
Speaking of the climax: don't put so much pressure on the all-holy orgasm. Orgasm isn't the end-all-be-all of sex, regardless of what television sex scenes and porn have showed us. "When we go for a 'performance' model of sex, wherein we think we need to accomplish certain things in order to 'do sex right'—it really isn't fun for anyone," Engle says.
Don't get us wrong—orgasms feel great when they happen. But, they're not the only criteria for good sex. Follow the pleasure instead—and don't be so worried about your performance. "When you're worried about how you're doing, you're not able to be present—this is called spectatoring," says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., L.M.F.T.. "Be an active participant and focus your attention on your partner's body."
And remember, penetration isn't the whole story. Only 1 in 5 cisgender women can climax from vaginal penetration alone, so you'll want to lean into other pathways to pleasure, Kerner says. Make out a lot, if that's hot for you. If your partner has a clitoris, stimulate it. If your partner likes it when you kiss their neck, do it. Explore with more than just penetration.
Finally: don't forget to use lube, Engle says. "The more lube, the better."
The 8 Best Sex Positions for Beginners
"Easy" doesn’t inherently mean boring. There are plenty of simple sex positions that will leave both you and your partner satisfied for your first time and beyond. Here, sex and relationship experts share their eight favorite sex positions for beginners.
At Men’s Health, we aim to describe sexual experiences as inclusively as possible. While many of the positions on this list have traditionally been associated with penis-in-vagina sex, they can be adapted by couples of all genders and sexual orientations and identities. We encourage readers to modify any position to suit their bodies, preferences, and needs. To avoid making assumptions about gender or anatomy, we use non-gendered language throughout this article. The “giving partner” or “giver” refers to the partner doing the penetrating, whether with a penis, a strap-on, or even fingers. The “receiving partner” or “receiver” refers to the partner being penetrated vaginally or anally.
Missionary Position
How to: The receiving partner lies flat on their back. The giving partner lies on top and enters them.
Benefits: Missionary might get a bad rap for being boring, but it's one of the easiest positions for beginners to pull off successfully: you're more or less both lying down. "Missionary is the best go-to sex position for anyone who is new to penetrative sex," Engle says. Being face-to-face allows for easy communication, which is crucial for ensuring that both parties are enjoying themselves. Plus: it's intimate!
Spooning Position
How to: Both partners lie on their sides, facing the same direction. The giving partner penetrates the receiving partner from behind.
Benefits: Spooning is another comfortable position to try for your first go-round, Kerner says. Since you’re both laying down on your sides, no one has to worry about holding themselves up or balancing; you can just focus on the pleasure.
This position is also incredibly intimate, as it allows you to hold (or be held by) your partner, Engle says. Plus, there's easy reach-around access for external stimulation.
Lotus Position
How to: The giving partner sits down with their legs crossed. The receiving partner then lowers themselves onto the giver’s lap, beginning penetration. Once you're both comfy, the receiving partner can wrap their legs behind the giving partner’s back. This position isn't as much about thrusting as it is about rocking and grinding into each other.
Benefits: If romance and intimacy are important to you as a beginner, then the lotus is the sex position for you. It gets you up-close-and-personal with your partner, allowing you to make out, kiss each other's necks, or gaze into each other's eyes. It’s also easy on the body, since you're both sitting down.
Facing Spoons Position
How to: Both partners lie on their sides, facing each other. The receiving partner can lift their leg over the giving partner to begin penetration.
Benefits: It's a "great position for eye contact and [it's] easy on the body, so it makes for good long, comfortable sex," Kerner says.
Cowgirl Position
How to: The giving partner lies on their back. The receiving partner straddles them with their knees and shins pressed into the bed, before guiding the giver’s penis (or strap-on) into them. The penetrating partner can then hold the "rider's" hands during cowgirl if they feel like they need some extra support. And if the receiver needs a break, the giver can plant their heels and thrust upward into them while they stay still.
Benefits: If the receiving partner is worried about getting too deep too fast, the cowgirl position provides the person on top "the most control over their pleasure," Kerner says. It also provides great access for clitoral stimulation.
The Mountain Climber
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back. The inserting partner lies on top, propped up on their hands, and enters them.
Benefits: Think missionary, but the person on top props up onto their hands. It might take a bit more shoulder strength, but the heights gives you a little more room to play with the angle of penetration.
Stand and Deliver
How to: In this missionary variation, the giving partner stands at the edge of a bed or desk while the receiving partner lies back and raises their legs to their chest. The receiver’s knees are bent as if they're doing a "bicycling" exercise. The giver grabs their partner’s hips and enters them. (The receiver can also choose to put either zero, one, or both of their feet atop the giving partner’s shoulders.) The giver should thrust slowly, as the deep penetration may be painful for the receiver.
Benefits: You might need a tall bed or a countertop to make this one happen, but once you have that, the rest is easy.
Over-the-Shoulder Position
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back and places one leg (or two) over the giving partner's shoulder(s). Once the receiver's legs are in place, the giver can enter them and start thrusting.
Benefits: Missionary is great, but there are ways to spice it up that are just as easy as the original position itself. The over-the-shoulder position helps provide a little more visual stimulation while allowing the same level of access.
Cori Ritchey, C.S.C.S., is the fitness editor at Women's Health, as well as a certified strength and condition coach and group fitness instructor. She’s reported on topics regarding health, nutrition, mental health, fitness, sex, and relationships for several years. You can find more of her work in Men’s Health, HealthCentral, Livestrong, Self, and others.
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